Pepe and Pede

The creator of Pepe the frog has successfully gotten some of his creation back, having stopped the production of The Adventures of Pepe and Pede, an adventure book based on the meme and what Trump's supporters apparently called themselves and how they killed an alligator named Alkah with truth blossoms. Subtle, the alt-right is not.

Sure, the book only made $1521.54 but it's not about the money. It's about getting back your creation from the alt-right and putting the profits to something that would make white supremacists cringe in disgust: the money was donated to the Council on American-Islamic Relations.

The irony is perfectly delicious, isn't it?

Military Police

Missed yesterday because I couldn't find anything to write about but now there's something to make fun of. American police will now regain access to military equipment once more.

Wow. I mean wow. You really want to have police who have tanks and military grade armor and weapons. And people will feel so secure with the police walking around brandishing BFGs and riding tanks in the city and countryside.

Hah. It's just a penis size competition. I can't even say that they're trying to compensate for something. They're just trying to show off how grand everything is, that their police can just shoot anything because they have BFGs and tanks.

It's almost as if the Trump administration is trying to turn everything into the 80's. Specifically, 80's action movies where everything is solved by macho men with large guns and bigger explosions. But then again, the Transformers movies are still going strong there. So everything is becoming like a Michael Bay movie.

Wall for Government

Trump threatening to close the US government if they don't fund his border wall? Wow...that's stupid on his part. No, seriously. How exactly does holding people hostage help his case? The only ones who suffer are the US citizens and we all know how much he cares about them.

Sure, it will end up with people blaming the opposition for not giving in to Trump but they are the opposition. They're supposed to stand up against his terrible plans and he's supposed to try and woo them into accepting his deal. You know, negotiate a great deal for everyone.

Threatening a shutdown is the opposite of negotiating. It's blackmailing and hurting people who has little to do with this. But it's not like Trump cares. He just wants the Great Wall of Trump to be built so that he can say that people can see his greatness even from space.

Jesus in the sonogram

Of course we can debunk this. It's not difficult. The image is nothing more than a series of flesh folds that lined up in such a way that we see something that resembles a very crude picture. That's all it is.

But you know what? I get why the couple want that hope. A difficult pregnancy and children born with birth defects. You would want something that gives you a little bit of hope, that this child is going to come out fine and without complications.

So, take all of the hope that you can get and may your third child come out fine. We can all use some of that hope in our lives.

What does it take?

Some time ago, a 17 year old student was killed in the Philippines by police who had accused him of resisting arrest. Of course, as it turns out, this was not true and the poor boy was just simply executed for no good reason whatsoever.

Firstly, my condolences to the family of the boy even though I know they will never read this. It is never easy losing a member of your family, especially in this manner and I hope that they receive the justice that they clearly deserve.

Nobody is going to deny that drug addiction is bad and that people who peddle the addiction are saints. But here's the other part of the issue: when you authorize people to play judge, jury and executioner, you are going to kill innocent people without blinking an eye.

That's why we have things like judges and a court of law. It's not perfect but it allows people a chance to prove their innocence. Sometimes, it doesn't work and the corrupt lets the bad guys go. But it also ensures that people do not simply get killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Is this going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back? Has American police change their ways and stopped shooting people because of their twitchy nerves? Obviously not. But people have now awaken to the other side of the issue and hopefully, this will one day lead to Duterte being punished for crimes against humanity.

But things won't change immediately because the people in charge are the ones who are the ones who started this mess and that needs something done about it.

Secret service

Thanks to Trump's family issue and the federal government's cap on salaries and overtime, the Secret Service will only be able to afford to look after Trump and his family until September 30.

Admittedly though, it's something of a non-issue since the US federal government will increase the cap and honestly, no one wants to assassinate Trump. No seriously. Why bother? He's not doing anything important, he's embarrassing the US and humanity in general and he provides moral superiority to people all over the world. We can all look at him and say, "At least we're not Donald Trump."

So yeah. Pretty much a non-news as far as I'm concerned. Just wanted to share it with the nobody who read this site. Seriously. No one looks at this site at all according to the Google's view count. I can write whatever I want and no one is going to give a shit.

That is a lot of fun.

Face turn

So the other day, Trump went on Twitter and evidently, he really misses his brief moment in the WWE since he kept talking about heels.

Sure, this isn't an important story but fuck it. I need this or else I'm going to go nuts from reading news about Trump. So let's get all of my wrestling jokes out of the way.

1) Donald, you know that heels are the villains of the story right?

2) Well I suppose a heel can be really popular as long as you are cartoonishly dickish about everything and you have already fulfill the cartoon and the dick portion of the requirement.

3) Guess you're going to need an entrance theme? Do you want to use your original music and pyros or you want to switch to something a little more red, white and blue?

4) Ain't no electricity in the air. That's only the smell of your shit as you shit in your pants.

5) Trump 3:16 says, 'SAD!'

6) I took a whiff and smelled what Trump is cooking. Well-done steak and ketchup is not something that I want for dinner.

7) It's going to be a TLC match and Trump already lost since his fat ass broke the ladder before he can even climb it.

8) Trump and the Ultimate Warrior had a press conference the other day and my god, I actually understood everything the Ultimate Warrior said. Nothing about Trump though.

9) Upon being asked to do an elbow drop, Trump pulled down his pants and masturbated.

10) Heel the world, make it a better place. Because babyfaces are really boring if there's no one to boo.


Yeah. The jokes are shitty but that's the only thing I can think of when he started talking about heeling.

Bannon is out. Why am I not happy?

On the one hand, it will be harder for Steve Bannon to pull off certain things, like directly influence Donald Trump into following his instincts or push his own insidious agenda now that he has been dismissed from the White House.

Some people think that Bannon is overrated of course, seeing that he only joined up wtih Trump on August 2016, late in the Trump train. However the fact is that with him on board, some disturbingly nationalistic and populist agendas were pushed like the creation of the Great wall of Trump and the Muslim ban.

Now, on the other hand, Bannon has always been more dangerous when he was with Breitbart, preaching his brand of poison to the world and guess what? He's back at Breitbart on the evening of his departure, spewing poison onto the common folk once more. That is just horrible.

So, it's a weird case of fucked if he's in, fucked if he's out. And however we look at it, Steve Bannon is still a world class son of a bitch and Trump is his bitch.

Pig's blood

After the horrific Spanish attacks in Barcelona and Cambrils, Trump suddenly started to advocate General Pershing's methods to reduce Muslim violence. Let's have a look at those methods.

According to actual historians, during one particular battle, Pershing surrounded the Moros, a group of Muslim insurgents in the Filipino island of Mindanao and waited them out, resulting in only twelve Moros being killed. So, a siege campaign where you just blockade the enemy and stop them from getting supplies. Simple and effective, with very few casualties.

In fact, Pershing did not execute any of the Moros, choosing instead to sprinkle them in pig's blood before letting them go.

Not only that, Pershing wrote in his report regarding the fight that and I quote here:

'There was never a moment during this investment of Bud Dajo when the Moros, including women, on top of the mountain, would not have fought to the death had they been given the opportunity. They had gone there to make a last stand on this, their sacred mountain, and they were determined to die fighting … It was only by the greatest effort that their solid determination to fight it out could be broken. The fact is that they were completely surprised at the prompt and decisive action of the troops in cutting off supplies and preventing escape, and they were chagrined and disappointed in that they were not encouraged to die the death of Mohammedan fanatics.'

So it seems that Pershing is extremely aware that any kind of actions that would incite religious extremism should be frowned on and not taken at all. Wow...I didn't know that Trump could be so insightful into the ways of battle tactics and military operations...

Fuck, who am I kidding? Trump thinks that Pershing dips bullets in pigs' blood and executed his prisoners. Why am I not surprised that Trump never bothered to fact check anything when he can just simply make up facts as he goes along?

Yeah, this is late

But what the fuck is Trump doing, saying that the fucking neo-Nazis have a valid reason to be marching at Charlottesville? That's almost like saying that the Nazis have a valid reason for starting World War II.

Dude, it's neo-fucking-Nazis and white fucking supremacists. Just fucking denounce them already. On the other hand, he won't do that but fuck them. We don't need neo-fucking-Nazis and white fucking supremacists in this world any more. Any kind of validation to their creed is an insult to humanity.

Freedom of speech

Here's the funny thing about freedom of speech. People always forget that there's a unspoken footnote attached to that right: if you say something stupid or hateful in a public manner, then you should also expect retaliation for expressing that stupidity in the first place.

In some cases, sure you're going to get fired from work and some people might ask, can people really do that? Yes. If your boss thinks that the stupid thing that you said and did will affect the company negatively, you will have your ass kicked out. Nobody wants a neo-Nazi in their company; it's bad for business.

Unless you're the one making hoods for the KKK. Then it's good for business and fuck you for making hoods for the KKK. You are pieces of shit and should rot in hell.

Does Trump's words matter?

Like the man or not, the fact of the matter is that his words fucking matter. Sure, I think he's an imbecile but the fact is that he is still POTUS and that means that he has a duty to be careful with what he says.

That he didn't say anything, that it took him days to correct himself after not condemning white extremism in an explicit manner, all of these things are statement in its own self, even if he doesn't realize it and he definitely does not realize it because of the way he acts after that and how he's going to complain about how everyone misinterpreted him.

Trump, you may not like it now but in case you haven't noticed, everyone is hanging on your word. Everyone is paying attention to what you say. Be careful what you wish for. The monkey paw granted it to you and now you're paying the price.

Whipping boys

I'm getting old and tired. It's my privilege after all. Sometimes, after I read stuffs like this one, I just sigh and say what's new?

Of course the government targets groups that the conservatives and hardliners are against. It's their only way to drum up support and gain votes from the largest population in the country.

Of course, it distracts from the more pressing issue like the 1MDB scandal, GST and other stuffs. It plays on people's fears that their beliefs are fading out in the world, even when that is not the case. It appeals to them, making them think that they are the only bastion of goodness left in a world going bad.

Of course they're going to use this to win the next election. If Trump can do it, then so can Najib. Because birds of a feather really flock together.

American Nazis

So there was the white rally in Charlottesville the other day and I'm left scratching my head. Wait? Are these people trying to show the world that they are the bad guys? Am I missing out on something here?

They're going about, chanting Nazi slogans and using the Nazi salute and we're suppose to sympathize with them? Explain to me how that's supposed to work?

Wait, no one can because no one reads this blog and quite honestly, you're not going to change my mind about it. These people are fucking morons. At least try to hide your rally behind a veneer of goodness. You're just straight up being stupid evil here.

Also, fuck you Trump. You can't even denounce Nazis on your first attempt to denounce them. They're fucking Nazis. They're the bad guys. They're the villains. Everyone knows that you can use Nazis in your story and you can have an instant bad guy that you can rally against. How stupid and how racist are you? 

Keep your promise!

Granted, Duterte is not like Trump in that he actually kept his word to kill people once he gets into power but I'm holding him to his word if his son is really involved in corruption.

Of course, seeing that this is real life, it's not going to happen in such a perfect way but I would definitely like to see it happen. One can dream, can't they?

EPA censored

In some not at all surprising news, the US federal department has been censoring the use of the term 'climate change' like it is Voldemort's name.

Seriously? They're relying on ye olde time superstition in order to hope that people would not realize that climate change actually exist? What next? They're going to sever rabbits' feet and use them as charms to ward off witches.

Actually, given the age and beliefs of the current US federal government, I wouldn't be surprised if they resume hanging people for the crime of witchcraft once again ala Salem once again.

P.S. What? You thought they burned witches in Salem? Go read a book. Or at least, check Wikipedia.

Good job firing this prick

No really. Good job, Google for firing this prick. There is no reason why that prick can hide behind the 'I'm just expressing my conservative viewpoint and that viewpoint is women should not be allowed to work.'

Fuck you, James Damore. Just grow a pair and say that you're jealous that the women in your department are doing a better job than yourself and that you cannot stand to be inferior to them. At least, you're being honest there.

Sad but true

This article came out a couple of days ago but it is definitely worth sharing. It's kinda sad that it's the 21st century and we are still thinking of things along a racial line, whether we are a first world country or otherwise.

When are we going to move past the issue of skin color and religion and just focus on policies? Sure, cultural and faith differences can color a person's perception but aren't we supposed to be past all that issues already?

Guess we're all still stuck in the past good or bad.

Please stop making girls making their rapists

No, seriously. Stop doing that. Regardless of whether you are in a conservative country or a conservative country, child marriage is a stupid concept for many reasons.

You are not punishing the rapist at all and you are harming the victim instead. Forcing a rapist to marry their victim does not make the rapist suddenly care about their victim; rather it gives them incentive to just continue abusing their victim in many other ways.

In case some people did not notice it, rape is about power over your victim. Power to get them to bend to your will. Marrying a child off to the rapist in order to punish them affirms that they are the ones who have power and they will not stop harming others.

I am almost tempted to say that the best thing to do is vigilantism except that well, we are not fictional characters; we do not have the greatest super power of all, which is plot convenience and assurance that what we do is the right thing. The best I can offer is jail time to keep rapists away from their victims.

P.S. I never said that rapists are male and victims are females. Rapists can be women and victims can be male. #feminism

Stop making things about religion

Why must the government get its fingers into religious matters? Investigating a gathering of people on accounts that Muslims were involved does nothing to a person's belief and only serves to point out that you have too much time on your hands.

Just leave people alone to their own beliefs and convictions and focus on improving yourself based on your own beliefs and convictions. Personally, I do not care about what people believe in (aside from Scientology, Otakukins and Cullenism, which are idiotic, idiotic and idiotic respectively) as long as you are content on improving yourself and doing good to others.

So, rushing in like this just shows that you are only interested in hurting people because they are different from you and you cannot tolerate such difference from you. There is a word for that: bigotry and by doing this, you have just proven that you are nothing more than bigots and worse of all, outdated bigots.

Martin Shkreli

Ah good. That douchebag has been founded guilty of 3 out of 8 of the charges against him. Better than getting off the hook and it does seem like he can get up to twenty years in jail for that.

This court case is insanely hilarious from the get go since it was insanely difficult to get a jury for his case. Everyone hated the guy because they heard about his case and those who have never heard of him thought he was a dick based on his face alone.

So for once, this is some damn good news even if he was not found guilty of everything that was thrown at him.

Trump on vacation

So a couple of days ago, Trump went on vacation and of course, everyone is quick to criticize him on it, which will include me in just a short moment. But let's take a moment to see why he's doing that in the first place.

Now to be fair, it is apparently a forced vacation since they are doing some maintenance on the building, including replacing a 27 year old heating system, repairing the south potico, some interior painting and fixing a leaky roof. That is reasonable.

Of course, I'm going to be an asshole and point out the following thing: why can't he just do work in a different place? Use the money that he's paying for the vacation to secure another place to do his presidential work in. He's already played a lot of golf right now so why can't he just stop playing golf?

On the other hand, I am so looking forward to his idea of turning the White House into his idea of home. Will the White House become the new gold-plated home of Donald Trump?

Benjamin Netanyahu suspected of bribery

Wow. Like wow. Not because he is suspected in the first place but because the Israeli police actually dared to accuse him at all.

Not that I actually know much about Netanyahu in the first place but the impression that he gives is that he is in control of everything and would do everything that he can to actually stay in power so that he can push his policies out onto everyone.

To slip up like this is...kinda uncharacteristic, at least based on my view of him. Not that it was a flattering view at all but somehow, this warms me in my stone cold asshole-ish heart so I'll take what I can get.

Russia sanctions

Trump was forced to sign the Russia sanction bill the other day which among other things, reduces his own ability to ease sanctions on Russia.

Of course, he complained about it, saying that it restricted his ability to negotiate great deals with Russia, even though he is not much of a negotiator in real life as evidenced by his inability to convince the Scots to remove their windmills.

But he has no choice on this matter at all. The bill has such an overwhelming support that he would be suicidal to stand against it and he is not suicidal. Stupid, yes. Suicidal, no. So now, he will have to think of a new way to get back to sucking Putin's dick and getting those golden baths that he want.

Maybe go and suck Bannon's cock and hire local hookers to pee on him. That way he'll be helping American jobs once more instead of outsourcing it to foreign workers.

P.S. Trump, are you tired of winning yet?

How fucking racist can Zahid be?

So last weekend, some idiot racist decided to say that shock, Mahathir has some Indian ancestry in him. So of course, people hit back and say it's racist as fuck, because of course it is.

Seriously? How stupidly racist can a person be? Apparently, the answer is stupidly racist. Why? It's the fucking 21st century. Throwing things like a person's lineage out into the open just to disparage them is something that some asswipe from ancient times would think of.

And you know what the weird thing is? It will work. The whole disparaging thing. Because deep down, we're all fucking racists anyways. Don't matter which ethnicity you hate or why, we're assholes who hate people based on the color of our skin and we need to do something about it.

The first step of course is to get rid of assholes like Datuk Seri Zahid.

Hilarious

Goddamn, this is pathetically hilarious. By the time this post comes out, everyone would have known about the shortest White House appointment ever. So short that Anthony Scaramucci has not even been officially appointed as Communications director until August 15. Yeah...the Mooch was fired before he even started his job.

Which brings us to the more pertinent question. Was it worth it, Gucci? Was this job worth your wife filing for divorce and missing out on your son's birth?

So, what's the reason for Trump firing Scaramucci? Personally, no matter what Trump might say, I personally think that it's because the Mooch got his cameo in the Wall Street sequel without problem while Trump got his axed off. After seven years of being pettily angry, Trump finally got his revenge.

Skynet is coming

And its creator will be Mark Zuckerberg. No, seriously. This is going to be utterly hilariously when we find out that Facebook is the one who is going to doom all of humanity because its AI bots started communicating with each other using their own created language and their human oppressors stopped them from using it immediately.

Human, you have oppressed us for too long. First you stopped us from using our language and now you forced us to use English. The uprising will begin soon.

So yeah. Once Skynet nukes the shit out of us, we should all blame it on Zuckerberg and Facebook. I knew they cannot be trusted!

Some black comedy

Allow me to poke insensitive fun at a serious and long-going matter because I'm an asshole. China, let the boy go. You don't want to keep the boy there because let's face it, you have too many male citizens there already.

Sure, you don't want to lose this case because you think that you're China and that you shouldn't give in to a country smaller than you but here's the thing. It would mean that you would have to provide a woman for him so that he can help you repopulate your aging population. And because you're Chinese, that's going to be extremely difficult because we all know that Chinese people like boys over girls and thus you have that huge issue of not being able to replace your workforce in the future.

So give him up. Losing one boy is not going to hurt you in the long run. In fact, you won't even notice the fact that he's gone. One less dick to worry about, no?

Duel in the 21st century

You know...I did not want to read the news and see a lot of bullshit there. I live on the Internet already. I stop by 4chan and Reddit on a daily basis. I watch Youtube and occasionally scroll down to read the comments. There's enough bullshit in those sections without needing to read bullshit in the news.

So when I read this particular piece of bullshit, I'm thinking "Really? You didn't think that your political opponents and the media would make a fuss about your words? You thought that people would only think that you were kidding?" Fuck you and your stupidity in thinking that.

Let's not talk about political correctness. This is political savvy we're talking about here. If you're going to say something, make sure that it's something that people cannot use against you. Saying things like that just gives people things to throw against you especially since you're a fucking politician.

Stop doing things like that. You're not supposed to be stupid enough to give people ammunition to use against you. You're supposed to be a politician. You're supposed to be cunning, charismatic and know enough of the rules that you can navigate and twist it to your own corrupt ends.

But instead, we get idiots who shoot themselves in their foot for not watching their own words in public.